Okay, I admit the ending to part 4 was a little heavy handed. Outside, fantasy is sold on the bally stage. Inside, under the red and blue striped canvas, the show is the reality. The traditional freaks advertised no longer work the show. They are surgically “repaired”, surviving on disability or working the Iowa call center for Verizon. These days the tent shelters “working acts”, these are magicians, fire-eaters, sword swallowers, jugglers, contortionists, etc. But, let’s go in...
Entering the tent, I see red, no, not from anger. The inside of the tent is dark. What little light the gray skies emit on the outside filters through the red of the tent hanging a bloody pall in the air. The light lacks the strength to penetrate the blue of the alternate stripes. Those stripes morph into the black of an aging bruise.
The floor is a concrete slab. It is damp and pot marked with small puddles. This is not pleasant, but an improvement, one day earlier I would have been standing in a foot of water. A hail and tornado generating storm closed the first day of the fair. And, not wanting my head caved in by a baseball-sized piece of hail, kept me in my hotel room that night.
Running the length of the back of the tent is a long, narrow stage. On display, from end to end, are ominous cabinets their forbidden contents hidden by glittery curtains and menacing contraptions sure to be put to no good use. In front and a step down from the main stage is a smaller platform, about 10 feet wide and 5 feet deep, it holds one box, a coffin painted red and black with oriental dragons. Seating is not provided, the audience, numbering about a dozen currently, stands in front of that stage. They watch as a tattooed and heavily pierced girl removes several large spatula-shaped blades from the coffin.
Although outside repeatedly I heard since “I was in line, I was in time” but the “coffin” is one of the greatest blow-offs in sideshow history, the Blade Box. This is the end of the show. Yet, it is also the beginning. This show goes on and on and on. They are doing a continuous sideshow. Meaning from the start of the day to the end the day, excepting an hour meal break, the show never ends. We can roughly estimate: they are performing around 50 half-hour shows a day. On the bally stage, they repeat the talk around six times an hour that is 72 ballys in a twelve-hour day. To quote the show, “stay, when you see an act twice, you know you’ve seen it all; you can leave.” Think about that the next time you bitch about the length of your workday.
After the blades are removed, a slender, tattooed and, somewhat disturbing, blonde jumps from the box and takes a bow. She and her partner turn the stage over to the first act, Professor Chumley, the human blockhead.
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Quote Me
"You can get everything in life you want,
if you will just help enough other people
get what they want."
--Zig Ziglar, Secrets of Closing the Sale
Monday, September 25, 2006
Why the blog?
In an earlier post, I wrote a short biography to introduce myself to who ever may be out in the land o’ internet. I certainly encourage reading previous posts, if you haven’t already. Now, let's talk briefly on the why of this blog.
First, I am lazy. Writing a blog seems counter-intuitive to being lazy. It is, but that is the point. I want to write, but I work best with a deadline. With no deadline, I fear the blank page. Yet, when something needs to be done, it gets done. This blog forces me to set deadlines that force me to write and, hopefully, the more I write the better I will be at it.
Second, while working on my interest in magic history, I wanted to set-up a web site to act as a clearinghouse for my and other historians’ discoveries. The problem is I am internet challenged and just don’t have the time (or the inclination) to learn the ins and outs of web sites. This is an easier way to tell the stories I want to tell.
Since I started blogging, a backlog of stories I want to write has developed . Here, you will find some history, some self-promotion, some inside magic stuff, some fiction, and some things just for the fun of it. I will move from one subject to another, but promise to get back and finish the subject. For example: I wrote some stories about a couple of nefarious things I did as a child. Those stories were not just for their own sake, there will be a point, someday. There are just many things to write about. Recently, I started a new book project that I will need help with and, perhaps, this blog will reach the people needed to see the project to completion.
I want to keep posting on a regular basis; every couple of days there will be new content. With the amount of material in my head, I should be able. In just the short time, I’ve been at it, many blogs have come and gone. They burned bright for a short time and then vanished. Some good. Some bad. Many of the bloggers were too full of themselves to maintain the pace and a few just too clueless. I just lost one of my favorites, one that I checked every morning. See ya’ down the road, Doug. I’ll miss your stories.
My choice is to drop pebbles in the water and see where the ripples reach.
Hopefully, the ripples will reach back more often and comment. No, the blog is not controversial and, thus, may not garner the kind of attention some others do. I cannot promise I will post all the comments received. I don’t mind disagreement. I will not allow personal attacks. I will not allow criticism without solutions. I dislike anonymous comments, but that will not stop them for being published. You might even change my mind.
First, I am lazy. Writing a blog seems counter-intuitive to being lazy. It is, but that is the point. I want to write, but I work best with a deadline. With no deadline, I fear the blank page. Yet, when something needs to be done, it gets done. This blog forces me to set deadlines that force me to write and, hopefully, the more I write the better I will be at it.
Second, while working on my interest in magic history, I wanted to set-up a web site to act as a clearinghouse for my and other historians’ discoveries. The problem is I am internet challenged and just don’t have the time (or the inclination) to learn the ins and outs of web sites. This is an easier way to tell the stories I want to tell.
Since I started blogging, a backlog of stories I want to write has developed . Here, you will find some history, some self-promotion, some inside magic stuff, some fiction, and some things just for the fun of it. I will move from one subject to another, but promise to get back and finish the subject. For example: I wrote some stories about a couple of nefarious things I did as a child. Those stories were not just for their own sake, there will be a point, someday. There are just many things to write about. Recently, I started a new book project that I will need help with and, perhaps, this blog will reach the people needed to see the project to completion.
I want to keep posting on a regular basis; every couple of days there will be new content. With the amount of material in my head, I should be able. In just the short time, I’ve been at it, many blogs have come and gone. They burned bright for a short time and then vanished. Some good. Some bad. Many of the bloggers were too full of themselves to maintain the pace and a few just too clueless. I just lost one of my favorites, one that I checked every morning. See ya’ down the road, Doug. I’ll miss your stories.
My choice is to drop pebbles in the water and see where the ripples reach.
Hopefully, the ripples will reach back more often and comment. No, the blog is not controversial and, thus, may not garner the kind of attention some others do. I cannot promise I will post all the comments received. I don’t mind disagreement. I will not allow personal attacks. I will not allow criticism without solutions. I dislike anonymous comments, but that will not stop them for being published. You might even change my mind.
Friday, September 22, 2006
The Last Sideshow? Part 4
You might want to read part 3 just to refresh yourself. And read all the parts if you are here for the first time, otherwise part 4 will not make any sense.
“Six tickets. Six tickets to see everything in this big tent. My friends, you give the man right there your tickets.”
Fair Tickets are the currency of the midway. Cash payment is not allowed. There are several centrally located ticket booths. The postage stamp-sized, blue tickets remind me a little like the green stamps my parents saved when I was a child. They cost as much as 75 cents, but buy a sheet of 50 for 30 dollars. At the least, (60 cents each) the cost of admission is $3.60. A small price for all those acts.
But first, there still is a little business of the escape and Poobah’s fire eating....
“Now, watch the little man eat the fire, but watch the escape first. One...Two...Three.”
The escape artist turns away from the audience and removes the chains that bound him for the past 10 minutes.
“He is out. And here goes Poobah, right down the hatch, without a scratch. Say, its good ‘til the last bite. The hottest man in town!”
So, let us rip six tickets off our sheets and hand them to the stern (and quite scary) man at the ticket booth. And, as we head inside, echoing behind us the bally continues...
“Showtime! Line up right over here. Say how many. Go right in. Everybody goes now. Only six tickets. Special reduced prices to everyone this afternoon...”
Special reduced prices? Six tickets reduced from...six tickets? Ward never says reduced from what. Because the posted price is six tickets, there really is no reduction. Which brings us to an immutable law of the bally: you can say anything; if it sounds exciting, it will move the tip and the tip will forget everything once inside.
“Only six coupons, now. Line right up, say how many, the show’s on the stage. When you go in there, stay until you see the same act twice, in order to know you’ve see it all because it is a continuous performance. Going on all the time. It is show time. You come in and see them now.
“They’re here. They’re alive, onstage, those straaaange people. Come in and shake hands with a woman who is live and apparently has no head. Come in and see that strange spider girl. Watch the human blockhead drive nails into his head with a hammer. You may dance with along with the four-legged dancing girl from San Jose, Costa Rica, Miss Vikki Condor. Here, today, you’re going to see the escape artist, the sword swallower, the lady fire-eater, they’re all here and they’re all alive; entertaining now. The magician with his tricks of magic and here you are going to see our magician cut the head off a live girl in a giant guillotine. And then, as the head floats across the stage it’ll sing a song to you. Come in and pay a visit. It’s show time. It’s going on. Now’s a good time to go.”
Behind the stage, behind the banner line is erected a large tent, striped in alternating colors of dark red and dark blue. From the ticket booth, it is about ten steps to enter the tent. A purposely low hung awing makes it impossible just to walk in; you bend low, almost to the waist to enter.
This awing prevents the lot lice (freeloading fair patrons) to see a free show. It doesn’t stop a few from trying. Some are just the merely curious, children and a few adults, who want to peek at what strangeness the dark tent holds. The ploy doesn’t work and only adds to the intrigue.
It is the twilight zone. A mysterious place, a forbidden place, unless you have six tickets, and then you cannot stay, but only visit this dark side of this light world.
Or some bullshit like that.
“Six tickets. Six tickets to see everything in this big tent. My friends, you give the man right there your tickets.”
Fair Tickets are the currency of the midway. Cash payment is not allowed. There are several centrally located ticket booths. The postage stamp-sized, blue tickets remind me a little like the green stamps my parents saved when I was a child. They cost as much as 75 cents, but buy a sheet of 50 for 30 dollars. At the least, (60 cents each) the cost of admission is $3.60. A small price for all those acts.
But first, there still is a little business of the escape and Poobah’s fire eating....
“Now, watch the little man eat the fire, but watch the escape first. One...Two...Three.”
The escape artist turns away from the audience and removes the chains that bound him for the past 10 minutes.
“He is out. And here goes Poobah, right down the hatch, without a scratch. Say, its good ‘til the last bite. The hottest man in town!”
So, let us rip six tickets off our sheets and hand them to the stern (and quite scary) man at the ticket booth. And, as we head inside, echoing behind us the bally continues...
“Showtime! Line up right over here. Say how many. Go right in. Everybody goes now. Only six tickets. Special reduced prices to everyone this afternoon...”
Special reduced prices? Six tickets reduced from...six tickets? Ward never says reduced from what. Because the posted price is six tickets, there really is no reduction. Which brings us to an immutable law of the bally: you can say anything; if it sounds exciting, it will move the tip and the tip will forget everything once inside.
“Only six coupons, now. Line right up, say how many, the show’s on the stage. When you go in there, stay until you see the same act twice, in order to know you’ve see it all because it is a continuous performance. Going on all the time. It is show time. You come in and see them now.
“They’re here. They’re alive, onstage, those straaaange people. Come in and shake hands with a woman who is live and apparently has no head. Come in and see that strange spider girl. Watch the human blockhead drive nails into his head with a hammer. You may dance with along with the four-legged dancing girl from San Jose, Costa Rica, Miss Vikki Condor. Here, today, you’re going to see the escape artist, the sword swallower, the lady fire-eater, they’re all here and they’re all alive; entertaining now. The magician with his tricks of magic and here you are going to see our magician cut the head off a live girl in a giant guillotine. And then, as the head floats across the stage it’ll sing a song to you. Come in and pay a visit. It’s show time. It’s going on. Now’s a good time to go.”
Behind the stage, behind the banner line is erected a large tent, striped in alternating colors of dark red and dark blue. From the ticket booth, it is about ten steps to enter the tent. A purposely low hung awing makes it impossible just to walk in; you bend low, almost to the waist to enter.
This awing prevents the lot lice (freeloading fair patrons) to see a free show. It doesn’t stop a few from trying. Some are just the merely curious, children and a few adults, who want to peek at what strangeness the dark tent holds. The ploy doesn’t work and only adds to the intrigue.
It is the twilight zone. A mysterious place, a forbidden place, unless you have six tickets, and then you cannot stay, but only visit this dark side of this light world.
Or some bullshit like that.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Jumping on the Bandwagon
Pirates are hot...wait, I don't mean the "PILF" sense. I mean in the marketing sense. Although, I wouldn't mind finding me a buxom piratey wench. But Pirate Day, I don't know. I was in KMART today and a woman was buying costume pieces to dress up as a pirate at work on Friday. Sometimes I think excessive fake holidays are the opiate of the masses.
So go ahead and take a hit....Aaarrrrrggggg, ye land-lubbers.
This sea shanty was first brought to my attention when actor Robert Shaw sang a variation of it the movie, Jaws. Here is one American version:
So go ahead and take a hit....Aaarrrrrggggg, ye land-lubbers.
This sea shanty was first brought to my attention when actor Robert Shaw sang a variation of it the movie, Jaws. Here is one American version:
Farewell and adieu to you Spanish ladies
Farewell and adieu to you ladies of Spain
For we've received orders to sail from New England
And we hope in a short time to see you again
Chorus:We'll rant and we'll roar like true Yankee Whalermen
We'll rant and we'll roar on deck and below
Until we sight Gayhead off old Martha's Vineyard
And straight up the channel to New Bedford we'll go.
We hove our our ship to with the wind from the sou'west, boys.
We hove our our ship to deep soundings to take
'Twas 45 fathoms with light sandy bottom
We squared our main yard and up channel did make.
Chorus
I went to a dance one night in Tombaz.
There were plenty of girls there as fine as you wish.
There was one pretty maiden a chewin' tobacco
Just like a young kitten a chewin' fresh fish.
Chorus
Then the signal was sent for the grand ship to anchor
And all in the downs that night for to lie
Let go your shank painter, let go your cat stopper
Haul up your clew garnets, let tacks and sheets fly.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Web-O-Rama
While I continue working on the next installment of my Sideshow article, I want to keep adding regular content. Here are a few Web sites I have found interesting to explore. Some are linked in the sidebar, but most are just places I like to visit and want to share. Go ahead and check them out.
The Human Marvels -- If you are a fan of Ricky Jay's books, this site is for you. This blog style site relates histories of the freakish and fantastic. The stories are compelling. The tone is compassionate. The research is highly informative.
Yellow Tulip Press -- Their tag is "curious chapbooks and hysterical histories. Their books range from Lizzie Broden to Houdini. All make for fun and interesting reading.
Despair, Inc. -- Need motivation? No. How about Demotivation? A hilarious parody of all those feel good, rah-rah office knick-knacks and posters. Funny to read. Funnier to own. (No, they don't pay me for this.)
The Best Page In The Universe. -- That description is his not mine. The author of this site doesn't lack for ego, but he is one damn funny writer. Look at the essay "You're not dave chappelle, and you're not funny." The graph just cracks me up everytime I think about it. I know many people who should be required to read this.
The Fantastic in Art and Fiction -- Cornell University delves into the dark and disturbing, the bizarre and beautiful. Great 17th century engravings and woodcuts organised into intriguing categories. This place is a must for anyone into Goth, Victorian, or Bizarre. And fun if you just like to see really old artwork of death, skeletons, demons, angels, or monsters.
Madame Talbot's Victorian Lowbrow -- If you are the kind of person that liked the above like, you'll also love this one. This is a wonderful artist with wonderfully strange artwork. Don't forget to explore all the parts of her site. I find the curios especially thought provoking. I wish I could afford them. I do own a few of her posters she sold on ebay.
One of things I love to do is go to the links page on these sites. I never know where they might lead me and there are always exciting discoveries just a click away.
The Human Marvels -- If you are a fan of Ricky Jay's books, this site is for you. This blog style site relates histories of the freakish and fantastic. The stories are compelling. The tone is compassionate. The research is highly informative.
Yellow Tulip Press -- Their tag is "curious chapbooks and hysterical histories. Their books range from Lizzie Broden to Houdini. All make for fun and interesting reading.
Despair, Inc. -- Need motivation? No. How about Demotivation? A hilarious parody of all those feel good, rah-rah office knick-knacks and posters. Funny to read. Funnier to own. (No, they don't pay me for this.)
The Best Page In The Universe. -- That description is his not mine. The author of this site doesn't lack for ego, but he is one damn funny writer. Look at the essay "You're not dave chappelle, and you're not funny." The graph just cracks me up everytime I think about it. I know many people who should be required to read this.
The Fantastic in Art and Fiction -- Cornell University delves into the dark and disturbing, the bizarre and beautiful. Great 17th century engravings and woodcuts organised into intriguing categories. This place is a must for anyone into Goth, Victorian, or Bizarre. And fun if you just like to see really old artwork of death, skeletons, demons, angels, or monsters.
Madame Talbot's Victorian Lowbrow -- If you are the kind of person that liked the above like, you'll also love this one. This is a wonderful artist with wonderfully strange artwork. Don't forget to explore all the parts of her site. I find the curios especially thought provoking. I wish I could afford them. I do own a few of her posters she sold on ebay.
One of things I love to do is go to the links page on these sites. I never know where they might lead me and there are always exciting discoveries just a click away.
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Bill's Book List
I’ve been called an avid reader, actually I prefer the term voracious reader. I devoure anything in sight. Consistently, I have a two-foot stack of book beside my bed. When I read it down to a foot, I buy more books. (Thank you, Amazon.com) This averages to around 100 books a year. The books in the stack are a large range of fiction and non-fiction and do not include the many magic books I also read.
In the last Bill’s Book List, I offered up a selection of non-fiction books that I thought would be interesting, but also useful for the readers of this blog. I hope you looked into those titles. If not, please go back and try a few out. What is the worst that could happen? You learn something? Frightening! Well, here is a selection of fiction authors and books for a little entertainment.
I’ll start with a name familiar to magicians, but not exclusively, James Swain. James’ con game crime tales have improved with each new book. His first was good, but did not impress me. His latest, Dead Man’s Poker and Dead Man’s Bluff, move along at a rapid clip with some crisp storytelling.
You should know the name Daniel Stashower, but you probably don’t. Daniel wrote an enlightening, if not a definitive, biography of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. He also wrote three Houdini mysteries, in which Houdini assumes the role of detective. Daniel creates a realistic Houdini character not seen in even his biographies. Fun books.
Most of the books on this list will be from the crime or horror genres. I make no apologies for this. I read very little “serious” fiction or science fiction/fantasy.
Here is an exception and a new discovery for me, Steven Millhauser. Do you know the name? The movie The Illusionist is based on a story of his. I just finished two collections of his short stories and can’t wait to read more.
The second Pulitzer Prize winner on my list is Michael Chabon. Most people recommend his book, The Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, a thinly fictionalized account of the early days of the comic book industry. I enjoyed his Sherlock Holmes story, The Final Solution. Also, although written by several other contributors, The Escapist is a cleverly designed retrospective based on the fictional characters created by the fictional Kavalier and Clay.
Now for a run of great crime fiction. Even if you don’t like the genre, don’t pass up these authors, their writing is superb.
Robert B. Parker is the grand daddy, the godfather, the king of crime writers. Pick a book, any book and savor the best dialogue writer ever. Period.
John Sanford is another one of my “don’t miss” authors. I can’t believe his Prey books have not been made into movies. This former crime reporter knows his stuff and puts it all on the page. Start with one of his early books like, Rules of Prey or Eyes of Prey. Fool's Run is a later book of his in the con game genre that is worth reading.
At the turn of the century, a person that was insane was thought to be “alien” (a stranger) in their own head. Thus, a psychiatrist was called an “Alienist” and that is the name of the next book on the list, The Alienist. Caleb Carr, already a respected historian, authored this spectacular piece of fiction. It is part of a trend of fictional stories intertwined with enough non-fiction to make it seem real. In turn of the century New York, an alienist applies early theories of profiling to uncover a dangerous serial killer. Wow.
Hard Case Crime is a relatively small publishing company specializing in retro-styled pulp crime fiction. I met one of the authors, Richard Aleas who also happens to be the head of the company, at my store. He turned me on to his company and I’ve read their books since.
To my knowledge, Steve Monroe has written only three novels. I read his ’57 Chicago some years back. That book has stayed with me. He evoked a time and place as well as any writer and I am surprised the books did not do better. (“Less a crime novel than a slice of underworld life” quoted from Booklist) Discover him for yourself.
Hugh Laurie, star of Jeeves and Wooster, The Black Adder, and the popular House M.D., wrote a terrific parody of the hard-boiled crime novel. The Gun Seller is a rip-roaring lark. Find it, read it, laugh at it.
Speaking of funny, Terry Pratchett’s books are hard to classify. They seem like fantasy and have many fantastical elements, but I would call them satire. Either way, don’t let the fantasy scare you away from one the world’s cleverest and wittiest writers.
Stephen King is the King of popular fiction. At one time, I read him religiously, not any more. I will recommend his early novels and short fiction as some of the best writing of the last century. Remember some of our most revered authors wrote “horror” or “supernatural” fiction.
Dean Koontz is another (like King and Parker) prolific savant. I am amazed at their ability to write such volumes of fiction. On Koontz’s works my opinion is opposite of King’s works, I favorite his later writing like, Odd Thomas, Life Expectancy, The Taking, Velocity, etc. All of those books I bought on audio for my mother, who loved them. She has some of the same sensibility I have; she loves a good mystery. So, what more recommendation do you need?
Chuck Palahniuk, author of Fight Club, wrote a very strange book titled, Lullaby. A man can’t himself from stop reciting a poem that kills. Compelling reading.
How can I classify Edward Gorey? Artist, author, strange strange man. Sometimes I find his work impenetrable, but read his The Gashlycrumb Tinies. If this doesn’t make you laugh, he is not for you.
Michael Crichton’s two books, Rising Sun and Jurassic Park, became movies, one very bad and one good. The books are just plain good, really good and easily his best work.
Last on my list is Neil Gaiman. His stories range from graphic comics to short stories to novels and they are all good. He co-wrote a fun end of the world tale, Good Omens, with Terry Pratchett. His writing overflows with horror, fantasy, and rich mythology and is always a joy to read.
That is it, just a last bit of preaching. I have realized through the years that the most creative times of my life are when I am reading the most. If you want to be creative, you need to you’re your head with data to process. Your brain cannot be empty and create new to the world ideas. So, have fun and always find time to read. As the saying goes, “leaders are readers”.
In the last Bill’s Book List, I offered up a selection of non-fiction books that I thought would be interesting, but also useful for the readers of this blog. I hope you looked into those titles. If not, please go back and try a few out. What is the worst that could happen? You learn something? Frightening! Well, here is a selection of fiction authors and books for a little entertainment.
I’ll start with a name familiar to magicians, but not exclusively, James Swain. James’ con game crime tales have improved with each new book. His first was good, but did not impress me. His latest, Dead Man’s Poker and Dead Man’s Bluff, move along at a rapid clip with some crisp storytelling.
You should know the name Daniel Stashower, but you probably don’t. Daniel wrote an enlightening, if not a definitive, biography of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. He also wrote three Houdini mysteries, in which Houdini assumes the role of detective. Daniel creates a realistic Houdini character not seen in even his biographies. Fun books.
Most of the books on this list will be from the crime or horror genres. I make no apologies for this. I read very little “serious” fiction or science fiction/fantasy.
Here is an exception and a new discovery for me, Steven Millhauser. Do you know the name? The movie The Illusionist is based on a story of his. I just finished two collections of his short stories and can’t wait to read more.
The second Pulitzer Prize winner on my list is Michael Chabon. Most people recommend his book, The Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, a thinly fictionalized account of the early days of the comic book industry. I enjoyed his Sherlock Holmes story, The Final Solution. Also, although written by several other contributors, The Escapist is a cleverly designed retrospective based on the fictional characters created by the fictional Kavalier and Clay.
Now for a run of great crime fiction. Even if you don’t like the genre, don’t pass up these authors, their writing is superb.
Robert B. Parker is the grand daddy, the godfather, the king of crime writers. Pick a book, any book and savor the best dialogue writer ever. Period.
John Sanford is another one of my “don’t miss” authors. I can’t believe his Prey books have not been made into movies. This former crime reporter knows his stuff and puts it all on the page. Start with one of his early books like, Rules of Prey or Eyes of Prey. Fool's Run is a later book of his in the con game genre that is worth reading.
At the turn of the century, a person that was insane was thought to be “alien” (a stranger) in their own head. Thus, a psychiatrist was called an “Alienist” and that is the name of the next book on the list, The Alienist. Caleb Carr, already a respected historian, authored this spectacular piece of fiction. It is part of a trend of fictional stories intertwined with enough non-fiction to make it seem real. In turn of the century New York, an alienist applies early theories of profiling to uncover a dangerous serial killer. Wow.
Hard Case Crime is a relatively small publishing company specializing in retro-styled pulp crime fiction. I met one of the authors, Richard Aleas who also happens to be the head of the company, at my store. He turned me on to his company and I’ve read their books since.
To my knowledge, Steve Monroe has written only three novels. I read his ’57 Chicago some years back. That book has stayed with me. He evoked a time and place as well as any writer and I am surprised the books did not do better. (“Less a crime novel than a slice of underworld life” quoted from Booklist) Discover him for yourself.
Hugh Laurie, star of Jeeves and Wooster, The Black Adder, and the popular House M.D., wrote a terrific parody of the hard-boiled crime novel. The Gun Seller is a rip-roaring lark. Find it, read it, laugh at it.
Speaking of funny, Terry Pratchett’s books are hard to classify. They seem like fantasy and have many fantastical elements, but I would call them satire. Either way, don’t let the fantasy scare you away from one the world’s cleverest and wittiest writers.
Stephen King is the King of popular fiction. At one time, I read him religiously, not any more. I will recommend his early novels and short fiction as some of the best writing of the last century. Remember some of our most revered authors wrote “horror” or “supernatural” fiction.
Dean Koontz is another (like King and Parker) prolific savant. I am amazed at their ability to write such volumes of fiction. On Koontz’s works my opinion is opposite of King’s works, I favorite his later writing like, Odd Thomas, Life Expectancy, The Taking, Velocity, etc. All of those books I bought on audio for my mother, who loved them. She has some of the same sensibility I have; she loves a good mystery. So, what more recommendation do you need?
Chuck Palahniuk, author of Fight Club, wrote a very strange book titled, Lullaby. A man can’t himself from stop reciting a poem that kills. Compelling reading.
How can I classify Edward Gorey? Artist, author, strange strange man. Sometimes I find his work impenetrable, but read his The Gashlycrumb Tinies. If this doesn’t make you laugh, he is not for you.
Michael Crichton’s two books, Rising Sun and Jurassic Park, became movies, one very bad and one good. The books are just plain good, really good and easily his best work.
Last on my list is Neil Gaiman. His stories range from graphic comics to short stories to novels and they are all good. He co-wrote a fun end of the world tale, Good Omens, with Terry Pratchett. His writing overflows with horror, fantasy, and rich mythology and is always a joy to read.
That is it, just a last bit of preaching. I have realized through the years that the most creative times of my life are when I am reading the most. If you want to be creative, you need to you’re your head with data to process. Your brain cannot be empty and create new to the world ideas. So, have fun and always find time to read. As the saying goes, “leaders are readers”.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Lingo
From Brewer's Dictionary of Phrase and Fable, The Classic Edition by E. Cobham Brewer, originally published in 1870, current edition undated published by Tess Press:
Prestige--This word has a strangely metamorphosed meaning. The Latin proestigioe means juggling tricks, hence prestidigitateur (FR.), one who juggles with fingers. We use the word for that favourable impression which results from good antecedents. The history of the change is this: Juggling tricks were once considered a sort of enchantment; to enchant is to charm, and to charm is to win the heart.
Monday, September 11, 2006
The Last Sideshow? Part 3
If you haven't read parts 1 and 2, you'd better or you won't understand what is going on.
Ward Hall is dressed for show, red pants, vest, and tie, powder blue tailcoat with sparkling silver accents, and a tuxedo shirt. He is a smallish in stature and looks like he could play the wizard in the Wizard of Oz. To carry the allusion further, Ward commands the stage and casts out a spell over the audience. He hardly seems 80+ years old. His love of the SHOW oozes out every pore and punctuates every sentence. Just a mere transcription of his bally does not do him justice.
But, I try...
Once the outside talker freezes the tip and has you waiting for the magician to escape from the chains and the midget to eat the fire, he begins the real pitch.
“Now these are only two of the many performers and strange sights that you’re going to see here at the World of Wonders, Palace of Illusions; the world’s largest fairground show. The first midway show to be invited to this fair in seventeen years.”
Talk about an up sell.
“Here you are going to see the things that are advertised and represented by the artist on these posters to the right and to the left of the doorway.
Today, you are going to see screwy Louie, the human blockhead, a man who drives nails and ice picks into his head with a hammer.
Susie Stretch, the rubber girl, who stretches her skin just like elastic.
You’ll be entertained by Voltara, the electric woman, who sits in a real electric chair. High voltage passes through her body; lighting torches from her fingers and a light bulb from her mouth, without any harm what so ever. She’s immune to the shock of electricity.
Today, from San Jose, Costa Rica, the world’s most unusual dancer is Vikki Condor; a woman who dances and is the only woman alive with four legs, four feet, and twenty toes.
From Germany, you’re going to be entertained by Unique Monique, a modern medical miracle; a woman who is alive and yet she apparently doesn’t have any head at all. I know that sounds incredible. It is incredible. And today, when you see the headless woman, you are invited to walk right up to her and extend your hand out to her; even though she has no head, she apparently can’t see you,she’ll know you’re there. She’ll reach out to you and, if you wish, you may personally shake hands with the headless woman. When you touch and feel her warm flesh, you are going to know, beyond any shadow this is a real woman, alive with no head.
Today, you are going to be entertained by the world’s champion lady sword swallower; you’ll see our lady fire manipulator, who drinks burning gasoline; the pain proof girl, who dances up a ladder of sharp swords, and you are going to see, from Newark, New Jersey, Juanita Perez, the woman who is probably the strangest in our show.
We call her Spidora. She is nineteen years of age, a high school graduate. This young lady has a normal head and she has a beautiful face, but that’s where normal and beauty ends because she has a body from the neck down that resembles that of an ugly tarantula spider. It’s not pretty and it’s not nice and when you look at her, it may shock you. But, she is someone you will talk about and remember for the rest of your life. And, if you have any questions about her, ask her. She is an intelligent, educated woman and will be glad to answer your questions for you.
This is a big show.
But, there is one attraction here, bigger than all the rest. She is here for this fair only, that’s why we have no picture of her out here. She comes from Beijing, China. Her name is May Ling. Perhaps you saw her on the news in the past week or read about her in the Pioneer Press, but my friends today; you can see here a woman who is probably the tallest human who ever walked on this earth. Standing eight feet, one and a half inches tall, you walk right up beside of her, so you can compare your height to that of the Chinese giant girl. And if you have a camera, bring it in with you, take a picture of yourself standing by the Chinese giant girl—at no cost—and you’ll have something to show your friends at home, of who you met and what you saw here at the strangest show on earth.
This is a big show. There is one small part of it, that’s the price of admission and that is only six of the fair tickets.”
Now that the tale has been told, it is time to turn the tip. Some of the tip will leave after the bally, but many, including you and me, will be paying our tickets and seeing the show.
Ward Hall is dressed for show, red pants, vest, and tie, powder blue tailcoat with sparkling silver accents, and a tuxedo shirt. He is a smallish in stature and looks like he could play the wizard in the Wizard of Oz. To carry the allusion further, Ward commands the stage and casts out a spell over the audience. He hardly seems 80+ years old. His love of the SHOW oozes out every pore and punctuates every sentence. Just a mere transcription of his bally does not do him justice.
But, I try...
Once the outside talker freezes the tip and has you waiting for the magician to escape from the chains and the midget to eat the fire, he begins the real pitch.
“Now these are only two of the many performers and strange sights that you’re going to see here at the World of Wonders, Palace of Illusions; the world’s largest fairground show. The first midway show to be invited to this fair in seventeen years.”
Talk about an up sell.
“Here you are going to see the things that are advertised and represented by the artist on these posters to the right and to the left of the doorway.
Today, you are going to see screwy Louie, the human blockhead, a man who drives nails and ice picks into his head with a hammer.
Susie Stretch, the rubber girl, who stretches her skin just like elastic.
You’ll be entertained by Voltara, the electric woman, who sits in a real electric chair. High voltage passes through her body; lighting torches from her fingers and a light bulb from her mouth, without any harm what so ever. She’s immune to the shock of electricity.
Today, from San Jose, Costa Rica, the world’s most unusual dancer is Vikki Condor; a woman who dances and is the only woman alive with four legs, four feet, and twenty toes.
From Germany, you’re going to be entertained by Unique Monique, a modern medical miracle; a woman who is alive and yet she apparently doesn’t have any head at all. I know that sounds incredible. It is incredible. And today, when you see the headless woman, you are invited to walk right up to her and extend your hand out to her; even though she has no head, she apparently can’t see you,she’ll know you’re there. She’ll reach out to you and, if you wish, you may personally shake hands with the headless woman. When you touch and feel her warm flesh, you are going to know, beyond any shadow this is a real woman, alive with no head.
Today, you are going to be entertained by the world’s champion lady sword swallower; you’ll see our lady fire manipulator, who drinks burning gasoline; the pain proof girl, who dances up a ladder of sharp swords, and you are going to see, from Newark, New Jersey, Juanita Perez, the woman who is probably the strangest in our show.
We call her Spidora. She is nineteen years of age, a high school graduate. This young lady has a normal head and she has a beautiful face, but that’s where normal and beauty ends because she has a body from the neck down that resembles that of an ugly tarantula spider. It’s not pretty and it’s not nice and when you look at her, it may shock you. But, she is someone you will talk about and remember for the rest of your life. And, if you have any questions about her, ask her. She is an intelligent, educated woman and will be glad to answer your questions for you.
This is a big show.
But, there is one attraction here, bigger than all the rest. She is here for this fair only, that’s why we have no picture of her out here. She comes from Beijing, China. Her name is May Ling. Perhaps you saw her on the news in the past week or read about her in the Pioneer Press, but my friends today; you can see here a woman who is probably the tallest human who ever walked on this earth. Standing eight feet, one and a half inches tall, you walk right up beside of her, so you can compare your height to that of the Chinese giant girl. And if you have a camera, bring it in with you, take a picture of yourself standing by the Chinese giant girl—at no cost—and you’ll have something to show your friends at home, of who you met and what you saw here at the strangest show on earth.
This is a big show. There is one small part of it, that’s the price of admission and that is only six of the fair tickets.”
Now that the tale has been told, it is time to turn the tip. Some of the tip will leave after the bally, but many, including you and me, will be paying our tickets and seeing the show.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Quote Me
"Today's novelty is tomorrow's ennui."
--Herr Preisendanz in August Eschenburg
From Steven Millhauser's short story collection,
In the Penny Arcade.
Friday, September 08, 2006
Second Hand Stories
I found this on a random blog and thought I would share it with all of you. I don't remember the blog and I don't know the original source for this story. If you desire you can look it up yourself.
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well.
The animal cried for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided since the animal was old, and the well was dry and needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth the effort to retrieve the donkey.
He invited his neighbors to come over and help. They grabbed shovels and began to throw dirt into the well.
At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw.
With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.
Many full shovels later, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.
Or as Bill says, Don't be an ass and put yourself in a hole in the first place.
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well.
The animal cried for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided since the animal was old, and the well was dry and needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth the effort to retrieve the donkey.
He invited his neighbors to come over and help. They grabbed shovels and began to throw dirt into the well.
At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw.
With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.
Many full shovels later, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.
Or as Bill says, Don't be an ass and put yourself in a hole in the first place.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Monday, September 04, 2006
The Last Sideshow? Part 2
I shouldn't need to tell you, but if you haven't read part one, this part two will not make much sense. Part three should appear in about a week.
I am not the only one heeding the call of the sideshow banners. The banner line seems like it dropped out of its time and into ours and, thus, draws many gawkers. Little do they realize that the artwork is just the worm on the hook.
Under the center banners is the bally stage and what fish the banners didn’t reel in, the outside talker will. First please remember, if you want to be “with it,” don’t call them barkers. Call them outside talkers, spielers, or just talkers. Second, you need to know a “tip” in carnival lingo is a crowd of people. The talker’s job is to build the tip, freeze the tip, and then turn the tip.
Building the Tip
I walk closer and a small crowd forms up front, loitering, more away from the bally stage than to it. But, they are waiting, almost coyly, slightly tilted toward the stage in anticipation. Their wait will be brief; the talker wants to draw them in.
“Free show, ladies and gentlemen, we are going to have a free show right here. Right here on our front porch.”
The operative word being free. The crowd enlarges, but still steps away.
“We have a gentleman here who claims to be an escape artist. Well, I believe that. He evidently escaped to be here at the fair today. And, today he is going to escape from some chains. We’ll see if he can do it. Everybody come right over here and where you can see this and watch what we are going to do.”
The crowd still growing hypnotically follows their orders and moves forward.
“First, I’d like to tell you that this gentleman is Mr. Ralph DeMarco and Mr. DeMarco is a professional escape artist. Generally, he escapes from being trussed up in a straightjacket, suspended underneath a helicopter, but because the weather is rather inclement and unpromising. Today, instead of escaping from under a helicopter, he is going to escape from these chains. I am going to ask everyone to come right down here in close, because I am going to ask these young ladies here and this young gentleman to examine these chains. All solid? The chains are real, nothing trick or magical about them. This is not a magic trick.”
Of course, the women are satisfied that those are real chains and locks. Although there is something magical about them, they are a standard magician’s escape set-up. DeMarco let the audience members lock the chains around his wrists.
“Now, he is locked and cannot get free, but I will count to three and in less than thirty seconds he will escape, completely and thoroughly and freely. We’re not going to cover him up with a scarf. We are going to let you see him make this escape and I think it is something that will amaze you.”
The hook is now partially set, but now he will sink it in a little deeper.
“While he is getting all ready, I have a little man I am going to bring over here. Poobah, come here. And I want everyone to come a little closer because this is just a tiny little man, he has a tiny little voice, he refuses to shout at people because he says that’s just not polite. So please show him that courtesy, I thank you very much.”
Notice, he repeatedly brings the crowd in closer, but he always gives them a reason to move in. People will not just move closer because you ask them. They will move in if they see it is in their best interest. Moving them in also allows more people to fill in behind and force the inside group to stay for the whole story.
“Now I want you to meet this young man because he might be familiar to some of you.”
He is familiar to me, at least. Poobah or Pete Turhurne is a 76-year-old fire-eating midget. The story goes that Poobah was the youngest of all the 122 little people in the movie The Wizard of Oz, now he is the only one still performing. This statement elicits gasps from some in the crowd. He learned to eat fire when he performed in the 1966 Broadway musical, Carnival with Jerry Orbach. He is one of the people I am here to meet.
“And this afternoon, Poobah, will you eat the fire for us? Okay, he said he will do that for you, right out here. Now, we have the gentleman completely chained up, locked in there. Here are the only keys. I am not going to give them to him. I’m going to keep them right here, far from his reach. And, in a moment, I am going to count to three. He will escape from the chains and Poobah is going to eat the fire. Now these are only two...”
On the stage, a man has his wrists bound in chains and, we are to believe, at any moment he will attempt an escape in full view. There is also a three foot seven and three-quarter inch tall 76-year-old man with two burning torches that he will place in his mouth. You are surrounded by a crowd.
Where are you going? No where. No way.
Guess what? You are part of the tip.
Ward Hall just completed step two.
Consider yourself frozen.
I am not the only one heeding the call of the sideshow banners. The banner line seems like it dropped out of its time and into ours and, thus, draws many gawkers. Little do they realize that the artwork is just the worm on the hook.
Under the center banners is the bally stage and what fish the banners didn’t reel in, the outside talker will. First please remember, if you want to be “with it,” don’t call them barkers. Call them outside talkers, spielers, or just talkers. Second, you need to know a “tip” in carnival lingo is a crowd of people. The talker’s job is to build the tip, freeze the tip, and then turn the tip.
Building the Tip
I walk closer and a small crowd forms up front, loitering, more away from the bally stage than to it. But, they are waiting, almost coyly, slightly tilted toward the stage in anticipation. Their wait will be brief; the talker wants to draw them in.
“Free show, ladies and gentlemen, we are going to have a free show right here. Right here on our front porch.”
The operative word being free. The crowd enlarges, but still steps away.
“We have a gentleman here who claims to be an escape artist. Well, I believe that. He evidently escaped to be here at the fair today. And, today he is going to escape from some chains. We’ll see if he can do it. Everybody come right over here and where you can see this and watch what we are going to do.”
The crowd still growing hypnotically follows their orders and moves forward.
“First, I’d like to tell you that this gentleman is Mr. Ralph DeMarco and Mr. DeMarco is a professional escape artist. Generally, he escapes from being trussed up in a straightjacket, suspended underneath a helicopter, but because the weather is rather inclement and unpromising. Today, instead of escaping from under a helicopter, he is going to escape from these chains. I am going to ask everyone to come right down here in close, because I am going to ask these young ladies here and this young gentleman to examine these chains. All solid? The chains are real, nothing trick or magical about them. This is not a magic trick.”
Of course, the women are satisfied that those are real chains and locks. Although there is something magical about them, they are a standard magician’s escape set-up. DeMarco let the audience members lock the chains around his wrists.
“Now, he is locked and cannot get free, but I will count to three and in less than thirty seconds he will escape, completely and thoroughly and freely. We’re not going to cover him up with a scarf. We are going to let you see him make this escape and I think it is something that will amaze you.”
The hook is now partially set, but now he will sink it in a little deeper.
“While he is getting all ready, I have a little man I am going to bring over here. Poobah, come here. And I want everyone to come a little closer because this is just a tiny little man, he has a tiny little voice, he refuses to shout at people because he says that’s just not polite. So please show him that courtesy, I thank you very much.”
Notice, he repeatedly brings the crowd in closer, but he always gives them a reason to move in. People will not just move closer because you ask them. They will move in if they see it is in their best interest. Moving them in also allows more people to fill in behind and force the inside group to stay for the whole story.
“Now I want you to meet this young man because he might be familiar to some of you.”
He is familiar to me, at least. Poobah or Pete Turhurne is a 76-year-old fire-eating midget. The story goes that Poobah was the youngest of all the 122 little people in the movie The Wizard of Oz, now he is the only one still performing. This statement elicits gasps from some in the crowd. He learned to eat fire when he performed in the 1966 Broadway musical, Carnival with Jerry Orbach. He is one of the people I am here to meet.
“And this afternoon, Poobah, will you eat the fire for us? Okay, he said he will do that for you, right out here. Now, we have the gentleman completely chained up, locked in there. Here are the only keys. I am not going to give them to him. I’m going to keep them right here, far from his reach. And, in a moment, I am going to count to three. He will escape from the chains and Poobah is going to eat the fire. Now these are only two...”
On the stage, a man has his wrists bound in chains and, we are to believe, at any moment he will attempt an escape in full view. There is also a three foot seven and three-quarter inch tall 76-year-old man with two burning torches that he will place in his mouth. You are surrounded by a crowd.
Where are you going? No where. No way.
Guess what? You are part of the tip.
Ward Hall just completed step two.
Consider yourself frozen.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)