Jay's Jokes

I am not a collector, not by any real meaning of the word. Unless you count stories, I love stories. There are a few books inhabiting a few shelves and boxes that are collectable. I have first edition Dracula, a Blackstone’s Secrets of Magic (signed), a valuable edition of Edgar Allen Poe’s poems with drawings by Edmund Dulac, and there are a few others.

As far as the magic world goes, it is just too darn expensive to amass a collection.

Although, I have acquired some nice pieces on that remarkable worldwide rummage sale, eBay. If you watch closely and keep a budget, you can find some deals. You have to be patient and not worry about losing something. I bought a broadside 6 months ago for $60. The same broadside sold recently for $179. But I like mine too much to sell.

This all leads me to my point. I just paid $300 for a notebook on eBay. A very special notebook.

For some time now, Sandy Marshall (son of Jay), his wife Susan, and their family have been selling many of Jay Marshall’s non-magic books on eBay. Many are circus and entertainment related books. Some are much more interesting like, How to run a Bassoon Factory for Fun and Profit.

Sandy first approves most of the books sold, just to make sure a treasure doesn’t slip through. Despite the safety checks, one such treasure did slip through.

The notebook, my notebook, is part of Jay Marshall’s private joke file. Talking to the Marshalls, there are about 20 volumes of joke that Jay collected and hand typed. This is the only one that should go to auction, but that may change seeing the worth. There was one other persistent bidder, but he topped out at just under $300 not even close to my high bid of $350. Whew!

It is a shameful thing, I think, not wanting anyone else to have it, but it meant a great deal to me.

Jay, for those who may not know, knew every joke ever. No, really. It was a supreme achievement to be able to tell him a joke and not have him finish it for you. I never tried. (My achievement was to bring him some advertising from the 1800s that he just had to copy.) My favorite memories of Magic, Inc. are going to lectures. A lecture could not, would not start without Jay sharing a ribald joke or bawdy limerick. Jay knew how to tell a joke.

Jay’s joke book collection is huge. Knowing him, he read them all. And could tell them all.

The binder smells of dust and age. The notebook is a standard 8 ½ X 11, much of it thin onionskin paper. The years of shelf wear has blotted the type making some of it difficult to read. It must date to the 1930s or 1940s because he included some WPA jokes. The book is 2 ½ inches thick. It divided into 26 categories from Juggler to Zoo. Some subjects contain a single page of jokes, others multiple pages, and a few only half pages. They are impeccably organized. After a visit to the magic shop during Jay’s tenure, this is a surprise.

Remember there are 19 other volumes, I cannot imagine how many jokes are collected in totality.

Does this sound like gloating? It is not meant to be. (Okay, well maybe a little.) This is just such an amazing thing. I want to share a piece of it, so I’ll close my eyes and pick one random page.

RABBITS

Girl with fur coat goes through the woods and a mother rabbit says to her children, “There’s your father-second pelt to the left-still hanging around other females.

Rabbit: We certainly know how to multiply.
Snake: I’m a tricky little adder myself.

Rabbits have shiny noses. That’s because their powder puffs are on the other end.

If Peter Rabbit gets sick, should he be given some hair tonic?

“I bought a pair of rabbits while you were away on your trip.”
“Where are they now?”
“Some of them are back in the coal shed, some are in the pen in the yard, and the rest are down in the basement.”

Two rabbits talking:
“I hear brother skunk has been drinking again.”
“Yes, he sure is stinko.”

The thoughts of a rabbit on sex,
Are practically never complex.
A rabbit in need, Is a rabbit indeed,
And his actions are what one expects.

“What happened to all these dead rabbits? Did you kill them?”
“Heck no, the boll-weevils run ‘em to death trying to get the cotton out their tails.”



Maybe I should have read the page first.
Some of the joke are dialogues, a few sound like they were captions for cartoons. I did edit out a couple that just did not make any sense. Like this one:

Three rabbits. Xmas story. Hungo, hungo.

What? I have no idea.

This is fun I think I will make it a regular feature. Jay’s joke page.

Thanks, Jay....For everthing.

Quote Me

"Let us be thankful for the fools,

but for them the rest of us could not succeed."

--Mark Twain

"Nothing is foolproof,

because fools are so ingenious."

--Mark Twain

"That's the penalty we have to pay for our acts of foolishness,

someone else always suffers from them."

--Alfred Sutro

"However big the fool,

there is always a bigger fool to admire him."

--Nicolas Boileau-Despreaux

"I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools.

Let's start with typewriters."

--Solomon Short

Idiot

Genius

Happy Birthday Chicago

On March 4, 1837 Chicago incorporated as a city. Happy 170th

CHICAGO

HOG Butcher for the World,
Tool Maker, Stacker of Wheat,
Player with Railroads and the Nation's Freight Handler;
Stormy, husky, brawling,
City of the Big Shoulders:
They tell me you are wicked and I believe them, for I have seen your painted women under the gas lamps luring the farm boys.
And they tell me you are crooked and I answer: Yes, it is true I have seen the gunman kill and go free to kill again.
And they tell me you are brutal and my reply is: On the faces of women and children I have seen the marks of wanton hunger.
And having answered so I turn once more to those who sneer at this my city, and I give them back the sneer and say to them:
Come and show me another city with lifted head singing so proud to be alive and coarse and strong and cunning.
Flinging magnetic curses amid the toil of piling job on job, here is a tall bold slugger set vivid against the little soft cities;
Fierce as a dog with tongue lapping for action, cunning as a savage pitted against the wilderness,
Bareheaded,
Shoveling,
Wrecking,
Planning,
Building, breaking, rebuilding,
Under the smoke, dust all over his mouth, laughing with white teeth,
Under the terrible burden of destiny laughing as a young man laughs,
Laughing even as an ignorant fighter laughs who has never lost a battle,
Bragging and laughing that under his wrist is the pulse, and under his ribs the heart of the people,
Laughing!
Laughing the stormy, husky, brawling laughter of Youth, half-naked, sweating, proud to be Hog Butcher, Tool Maker, Stacker of Wheat, Player with Railroads and Freight Handler to the Nation.

--Carl Sandburg's "Chicago"published 1916 in Chicago Poems

Where is the Chicago of Carl Sandburg and Nelson Algren?

I am afraid it been lost to the generic homogenization engineered

by corporate gluttons and the PC mafia.

Is the city that has been bought and paid for by the blood and sweat

and money of its citizens been bought out, sold out by the politicos?

Players at politics, who try to erase the history, forgetting it is the past

that made us, them, who we are; got us where we are.

But they better learn to love it, because they are it,

and it ain't going away--Bill